Rector’s eNews 16: 28 May 2025

Michaelhouse was privileged to host Mr Ben Parham, a Michaelhouse Old Boy, who had the unusual distinction of being Senior Prefect of the school in two consecutive years, when he was in matric and then the following year, when he was in post-matric. Ben is particularly well-known for his comment when he left Michaelhouse as Senior Prefect in 1997, “If a boy walks so tall that he cannot stoop to help those that have fallen, then he knows nothing of the spirit of Michaelhouse.” This statement is etched on the wall outside the Makan Centre as a permanent reminder to all the boys who pass that way of the expectations of each and every Michaelhouse boy of the past, the present and the future.

Not surprisingly, Ben has demonstrated effective leadership in more recent years at HSBC and Merrill Lynch in London and he currently leads the structured finance department at a sovereign wealth fund.

Ben Parham came to Michaelhouse to speak to our B Block boys as part of the leadership programme for the entire group and I thought that his words were so profound that, with his permission, I am relaying to you the majority of his talk to the boys.

“You’re in B Block now, this isn’t a waiting room before life begins. It has begun. And the way you show up here—in the classroom, in the dining hall, on the field, in your House—is shaping the leader you’ll be for years to come.

Let me take you back almost 30 years.

I was sitting right where you are now—literally in this theatre. I had just been made head boy. At the time, I thought that meant I had to know everything. Be the toughest, the most confident, the most certain.

I still remember the first assemblies and chapel services I had to speak at. My palms were sweaty. For a split second I thought, am I the guy for this? I didn’t love public speaking or addressing large crowds. I was a quiet leader.

But do you know what I discovered? Leadership doesn’t start when you’re already sure of yourself. It starts when you show up, even when you’re not ready for it.

That lesson has followed me through life—in my career, in relationships, in tough moments. Because leadership isn’t a title. It’s a series of choices. Repeated. Daily. Quietly.

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